The Bad Neighbors/Transcript
starts with a sleep-deprived Peepers staring at a chalkboard covered in writing and charts. He draws a big question mark in the middle. Peepers: Nothing! We have nothing! No power, no planets, no plan! Dominator's obliterating the entire galaxy, and I've got no idea how to stop her! Peepers talks, Lord Hater and some Watchdogs, sitting at a conference table, stare at him. Lord Hater: ''' And she won't even go on a date with me. '''Peepers: Sir, I'm sure being rejected by your most hated enemy that you're also in love with feels bad? But we really, really, really need a plan, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I could really use your help! Lord Hater: ''' Yes! That's it! '''Peepers: Really?! You know how to stop Dominator? Lord Hater: ''' Don't fret, C-Peeps, I have the perrrfect plan. '''Peepers: Oh, thank Grop! Lord Hater: I'm gonna finally go tell our NEIGHBOR a window behind him, revealing a suburban-styled house with a messy lawn to CLEAN UP HIS STUPID LAWN! laughter Peepers: With all due respect, sir, we came to Suburbon V to lay low! Dominator would never look for us in this boring cul-de-sac, thus making it the perfect place to hide while we formulate our plan to save the galaxy so we can take it over again! closes the window Lord Hater: But that jerk has the messiest yard on the block! And his leaves keep blowing onto our—''leaf from the neighbor's lawn blows onto Hater's.'' Rahh! He's doing it on purpose! laughter marches over to the neighbor's house, fuming, and repeatedly rings the doorbell. Lord Hater: I may have lost the galaxy, but I'm not gonna let some dumb-wad neighbor mess with my turf! Awesome answers the door to canned applause. Emperor Awesome: Whaddup, Neighbroham? Lord Hater: ' Wha? Emperor— '''Emperor Awesome: ' Awesome in da cul-da-sizzy! What-what?? 'Lord Hater: ' groans What are you doing here?! '''Emperor Awsome: Oh, uh, totally not terrified and hiding from D-D D-Domi...zooms in on him as he grows more nervous that lady villain and her horrifying, universe-ending onslaught and her fiery fiery fists, into Hater's arms and don't let her get me! Nooo! laughter Oh, um, throat why are you here? Lord Hater: Uh, totally not what you just said. Emperor Awesome: Right. So. Wassup? Lord Hater: Well, neighbor, I just wanted to come by and say CLEAN UP YOUR FILTHY LEAVES!!! Emperor Awesome: Please. She may be in charge up there, but down here, this is my cul-de-sizzy. So cross me and it'll be the end of the road, neighbor! Lord Hater: Watchdogs! Eyes up! a button opening the garage door, where the Watchdogs are in formation Emperor Awesome: Fist Fighters! Punch it! his garage, where the Fist Fighters are waiting Peepers: on the fight No! No powers, no armies, no fighting, or we'll be found out! Sir, is this one of those things where you obsess over something to cover up the real issue? Lord Hater: Of course not! I just refuse to be publicly humiliated by Dominator—I mean, Domineighbor! laughter Our dumb neighbor. Nailed it! Peepers: sighs And there it is. OK, listen! Just stay on your side of the street, you stay on ours, and for everyone's safety, shake hands and BE NEIGHBORLY!! growl and aggressively shake hands. Canned applause over the title card. Peepers: ' ''them apart No! No "Grrr"! Inside, both of you! storms off, dragging Hater with him. in the brainstorming room 'Peepers: ' OK, sir, new plan. What do we know about Dominator? blower blaring and chuckling is heard from outside. Lord Hater rushes over and opens the window to find Awesome blowing all his leaves into Hater's yard. '''Emperor Awesome: Clean enough for ya, neighbor? fumes. Peepers shuts the window and sighs. Immediately after, Hater runs outside to Awesome's lawn. Lord Hater: Raa! doesn't react and points the leafblower at him, covering him in leaves. Emperor Awesome: Ha-ha! You're welcome! Lord Hater: RAAAAAA!! zapping leaves, one by one Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Raa! Hater is still outside zapping leaves. Lord Hater: Raa, raa, raa, raa, raa... Peepers: ''' Sir, please, this is pointless. We need to get some sleep and strategize fresh in the morning. '''Lord Hater: Right, right. evilly In the morning! groans and shoves him inside. Hater is taking Captain Tim for a walk as the paperboy rides by. Paperboy: Aw, good morning, Mr. Hater. Lord Hater: Morning, Jimmy. and Tim walk up to a tree in Awesome's lawn. Go on, Tim, do your business. goes behind the tree, leaving fumes. Good boy, Captain Tim. walk away as the tree catches fire and canned laughter is played. Back in the brainstorm room, Peepers jolts awake amid a pile of used tissues. Peepers: ''' AAHH!! Yes! The plan! The plan! '''Lord Hater: sits down, stroking Captain Tim Yes the plan. Now Peepers, how can I help? Peepers: ''' Really, you're not gonna...What about Awesome? '''Lord Hater: Ha! I've got a feeling Awesome won't be bothering us ever again. the window, but to his shock, Awesome's lawn is perfect again. B-but how did he? The acid totally— Peepers: ' Sir, now is not the time for a series of harebrained competitive antics! It's plan time and I really need your help! ''door slams and Hater is gone '''Audience: Aww. montage starts. Hater and Awesome confront each other by out-decorating their lawns with more and more extravagant decorations. [music] Head back to the cul-de-sac to find a little peace and quiet But my next door neighbor's getting on my nerves And now sparks are flying, it's Bad neighbors Bad neighbors Every time I go outside Bad neighbors Bad neighbors Every occupy for bad neighbors the song ends, Hater starts playing guitar in his garage, and Awesome counters by turning on a boom box. Both keep turning up the volume, trying to drown out the other. Eventually, the noise gets so loud that it causes a neighborhood-wide explosion. Canned laughter is played as Hater's guitar disintegrates, and Awesome's garage closes on him. Peepers is hard at work huddling underneath a blanket in the brainstorm room. Peepers: Mm-hm, mm-hm, weld the treadwell to the fluxxor, supercharge the overthrusting oscillator, reflavven the aximus, and...and...DONE! I think I finally solved it, sir! Sir? the window to find Hater attempting to play baseball by himself Lord Hater: grunting Stupid wind! Bat must be crooked! Ball's not regulation! Too much gravity! again, but the bat slips out of his hands and breaks a window Peepers: Inside. Now. Lord Hater: To get my bat? Peepers: No! To give me your opinion on my brilliant plan and WHAT IS THAT INFERNAL BEEPING?! truck backs into their driveway Lord Hater: A moving truck? Awesome is moving out! Yeeeees, I did it! I win! I win! I win! a corny dance over canned laughter in the room Peepers: Now that I have your full, uninterrupted attention, allow me to present my plan to stop Dominator and take back the galaxy! Behold the one, the only— bell rings, Hater scrambles to answer it Peepers: YAAAAAHHHH!!! Lord Hater: the door to Awesome, holding an extension cord Oh, Awesome. I heard you were leaving and never ever ever ever ever eeeeever coming back. Welp, ta-ta, don't drop by anytime! door Emperor Awesome: The only thing I'll be dropping is the phattest of beats at my sick end of the galaxy barbecue! opens the door again That's right. All the escaped villains will be there. The cool ones, anyway. If D-Domin-aaahh...if SHE! is gonna take us out, we're going down partyin'! to a group of movers carrying an ice sculpture of Awesome We'll be using all the parking spots on the block, including your driveway, ship parks in Hater's driveway I'm running 14 hot tubs off your outlet. the TV out of the way and sticks a huge plug into the outlet. All the lights go out. It's gonna be crazy loud, and it doesn't end until the galaxy does! gasps Then everyone will know that Emperor Awesome IS THE GREATEEEESSST!! In the cul-de-sac. laughter Oh, and just to be 100% clear, here's your non-invitation. him a piece of paper with a picture of him and a no symbol Audience: Aww. Emperor Awesome: Hasta! Lord Hater: paper burns in his hands and he gives a huge roar RRRRRRAAAAA!!! yanks him into the room. Peepers: NO!! NO RAAAAA!! You are going to SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND BEHOLD MY ULTIMATE PLAN TO STOP DOMINATOR!!! pulls a blanket off of a model for a trap. He activates it by dropping a ball through a tube which goes through a series of contraptions ending with a net falling onto a figurine of Dominator. Peepers looks at Hater eagerly. Lord Hater: Uhh... Peepers: up on the table, running towards Hater while smashing his entire model ''Gaaahh! I knew it! This is a terrible plan! A net? A NET?! She shoots lava! ''cries Lord Hater: No, Peepers, this could actually work. Peepers: gasps ''Really? '''Lord Hater:' Yes! If we simply replace Dominator with Emperor Awesome, the Dominator figure with one of Awesome we could totally ruin his stupid barbecue and I could become the greatest in the cul-de-sac! laughter as Hater look out the window to see Awesome's barbecue underway. Peepers: 'Aaaaah! THAT'S IT! Who cares about the cul-de-sac? The galaxy is in danger! I've been asking for your help for days, but you'd rather waste your time playing pranks on a muscle-headed mackerel! Do you really wanna know how to stop that guy? ''yelling ''JUST THROW A BETTER BARBECUE! ''outside and sets up the barbecue as he talks ''Set the grill flame to 456 degrees! Food-to-guest ratio equals 3-Y to the N-power! ''multiple bowls with chips ''Execute Decor Protocol Omicron! ''up a row of paper lanterns ''Play "Hater's Chill Mix" at 64 decibels! ''a CD into a player ''Hot sauce! Lemonade! Multiple spoons! Apron! ''an apron on Hater and starts flipping burgers ''Turn! Flip! Turn! Flip! Turn! Flip! And don't skimp on the coleslaw! ''a giant bowl of coleslaw onto the table and adorns it with a Hater flag ''Dinner is served. 'Kragthar of Kraaaaagtttthh: 'Whoa! Check out Hater's place! ''the villains dash over to Hater's driveway '''Emperor Awesome: What? Bros, you can't ditch me for that poser. Lord Hater: Sorry, loser. Guess they're having too much fun over here with me: the greatest in the cul-de-sac! applause Way to go, Peepers! Couldn't have planned it better myself. Peepers: 'Wait. Do you mean to say this whole time, all your juvenile, pointless neighborhood one-upsmanship was all to inspire me, to break me out of my planning funk? You've taught me that whether it's stopping a powerful villainess or throwing the perfect barbecue, when the chips are down, sometimes you need a small win to give you the confidence for a big win! Oh, thank you, sir! ''Hater as canned awww's are heard '''Lord Hater: Uhhh, yeah. That thing you said. Peepers: 'Watchdogs, eyes up! ''the Watchdogs run inside and Peepers pushes Hater in ''I may not have an exact plan to stop Dominator, but I'm confident I will! ''ship takes off from behind the house and blasts Awesome's house to dust. ''Commander Peepers! ''laughter. The paperboy rides by again and throws a paper at Awesome's face. '''Paperboy: '''Oh, hey, Mr. Awesome. '''Emperor Awesome: Hey, Jimmy. ''Episode ends. '' # Bad neighbors # Where do all the villains go When Dominator's drilled and dried Send 'em back to the Bad Guy cul-de-sac And watch the sparks fly, it's Bad neighbors Bad neighbors Category:Transcripts